Weiss's Midsummer Night's Dream
by Gangsta Videl
Summary: It's Shakespeare like you've never seen before! From the cast of Weiss... it's Weiss's Midsummer Night's Dream! **Up: Act three, scene ONE! Act two complete!**
1. Dramatis Personae

Weiss's Midsummer Night's Dream  
  
A/N: ^________________^ I knew that reading Shakey-Speare in class would be bad for my brain. Now I'm writin' a parody. This could be interestin', though... see, the funny thing is? This parody is of A Midsummer Night's Dream. The book we're reading in English is The Taming of the Shrew. Maybe I just read too much. Or maybe I've read too much Shakespeare. Anyways... yeah. Mebbe I'll even do a Taming of the Shrew parody if I have time. Who knows when I'll have to return the damned book? Not me... ya gots ta ask my English teacher 'bout that.  
  
Disclaimer: I own my paperback copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare. That is all. I don't own any of the WK guys, even though I pine for Farf.... And my dog ate my copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream this morning. ;_______;  
  
***** Prologue: Meet the Cast AND See the Reaction! *****  
  
Dramatis Personae, also known as the Cast of Characters  
  
THESEUS, Duke of Athens ~~~ Persia  
  
EGEUS, father to Hermia ~~~ Masafumi (Takatori)  
  
LYSANDER, young courtier in love with Hermia ~~~ Nagi  
  
DEMETRIUS, young courtier in love with Hermia ~~~ Omi  
  
PHILOSTRATE, master of the revels to Theseus ~~~ Momoe  
  
QUINCE, a carpenter ~~~ Michiru  
  
SNUG, a joiner ~~~ Reiji Takatori  
  
BOTTOM, a weaver ~~~ Ran (Aya)  
  
FLUTE, a bellows-mender ~~~ Aya-chan  
  
SNOUT, a tinker ~~~ Ken  
  
STARVELING, a tailor ~~~ Schoen  
  
HIPPOLYTA, queen of the Amazons, betrothed to Theseus ~~~ Manx  
  
HERMIA, daughter to Egeus, in love with Lysander ~~~ Tot  
  
HELENA, in love with Demetrius ~~~ Ouka  
  
OBERON, King of the fairies ~~~ Yoji  
  
TITANIA, Queen of the fairies ~~~ Neu  
  
PUCK, or Robin Goodfellow ~~~ Botan  
  
PEASEBLOSSOM, fairy ~~~ Schuldig  
  
COBWEB, fairy ~~~ Brad  
  
MOTH, fairy ~~~ Birman  
  
MUSTARDSEED, fairy ~~~ Farfarello (Farfie)  
  
  
  
Other fairies who attend their King and Queen:  
  
FAIRY ~~~ Sakura  
  
FIRST FAIRY ~~~ Hirofumi (Takatori)  
  
SECOND FAIRY ~~~ Hel  
  
Lords and attendants on Theseus and Hippolyta:  
  
Kase  
  
Yuriko  
  
*****  
  
Aya: *reads the list and glowers* *whips out his katana* GANGSTA VIDEEEEEEEEEEEL!!! SHI-NEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!  
  
Yoji: *looks at his part* *eyes turn into hearts* Asuuuuukaaaaaaaaaaa.... *reaches out for Neu*  
  
Neu: O_O! *runs*  
  
Persia: BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I RULE ALL OF ATHENS!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Manx: *scoots away from Persia* Eeew, I don't wanna be married to you... *scoots*  
  
Tot: Tot loves her part! She gets to be in love with Nagi!  
  
Schoen: I believe the word you're lookin' for is 'type-casting'.  
  
Nagi: _  
  
Schuldig: Why do I hafta be a fairy?  
  
Gangsta Videl: You look the best in glitter and shiny clothes...  
  
Birman: So why do I have to be a fairy too?  
  
Gangsta Videl: There are, like, NINE FAIRIES, lady. The majority of yon cast is fairies. Go do the math.  
  
Hel: .... why do I have to be here? You people all suck. *suddenly sees Masafumi* *drools* Masafumi-saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan....  
  
Farfie: I LIKE being here.  
  
All: O_O  
  
Farfie: ^__^  
  
Gangsta Videl: ^__^  
  
Both: *dance around together*  
  
Aya-chan: I don't mind. I like Shakespeare.  
  
Aya: *scowls* *puts katana away* SHAKESPEARE IS A LITERARY GENIUS.  
  
Ken: *laughs*  
  
Aya: *glare*  
  
Ken: O_O! *stops laughing*  
  
Birman: Ick, why do I have to work with them? *points at Schu, Brad, and Farf*  
  
Gangsta Videl: Yeah... I just thought it would be funny to see Brad prancing around in fairy's wings with Schu chasing after him. Farf... damn, who DOESN'T want to see Farf in spandex covered in glitter? *drools*  
  
Chisha: *runs in* I THINK I'M GONNA PUKE! *runs out gagging*  
  
Random OTHER Farf-haters: *gag and die*  
  
Brad: I refuse to play a fairy.  
  
Gangsta Videl: Well, you could always play Lysander to Schu's Hermia....  
  
Brad: O___________________________o  
  
Schuldig: ^____________________^  
  
Brad: *suddenly has a random bout of precognition and sees himself playing Lysander with Schuldig as Hermia* NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I TAKE IT BACK! I WANT TO BE A FAIRY!!!!!  
  
Farf: *grabs a dictionary* See, the funny thing is, Webster defines 'fairy' as 'homosexual being'....  
  
Schuldig: *grins at Brad*  
  
Brad: *banging his head on the wall* I. Hate. William. Shakespeare. And. Webster. *bangs head again*  
  
Schuldig: *pouts* Ever'body's a critic...  
  
Nagi: Tot... I really like you...  
  
Tot: ^_^ Nagi, kawaii!  
  
Nagi: No, Tot, I really, REALLY like you....  
  
Tot: Tot likes Nagi too! ^_^  
  
Nagi: ^o^  
  
Brad: I think I may be sick...  
  
Schuldig: I'LL NURSE YOU BACK TO HEALTH! *runs out of the room*  
  
All: -______________-  
  
Aya: Shi-ne.  
  
Aya-chan: *makes a face and looks at her brother* Be nice, Ran-kun... pleeeeease? For me? *puppy-dog eyes*  
  
Aya: *looks down* *eyes well up* *nods* All right, Aya-chan.  
  
Aya-chan: ^o^  
  
Aya: ^o^  
  
All: O________O'''''  
  
Aya: *glower*  
  
All: *go back to what they usually do*  
  
Aya: ^__________^  
  
Ken: So... was this the first chapter?  
  
Gangsta Videl: I think so. Keep in mind, I feel reeeeeeally bad for Ran when the third act comes up.  
  
Brad: Why?  
  
Gangsta Videl: Berrrrrrrrcause, um.... heandAya- chanwillhaftadoalovesceneandit'sgonnalooklikeincesteventhoughIhatethatshitbu tnobodyelsewould'vebeenabletodothelovescenewithAya- chanwithoutRankillingthemofffirsteventhoughIwould'veyelledathimbuthewouldn't caresoIhadtomakethemdoittogether.  
  
Farfie: Wow. I understood that. I don't even hafta say it.  
  
Nagi: We're well aware of how much that will hurt Him.  
  
Tot: *pouts* When are Tot and Nagi going to star?  
  
Hel: Act one. Scene one. Dammit, Lysander and Hermia are practically the stars!  
  
Gangsta Videl: .... they ARE the stars. Or... two of the main seven, anyway.  
  
Schoen: Who are the other five?  
  
Omi: That's easy! The other five are Demetrius, Helena, Puck, Oberon and Titania!  
  
Yoji: *still reaching for Neu* Asukaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....  
  
Ouka: *reaches out for Omi* Omi-saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan....  
  
Neu + Omi: *start crying* NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Gangsta Videl: --;; Looks like it's about time to start work on act one, scene one! *waves*  
  
All: *wave reluctantly*  
  
Schuldig: *runs back inside wearing a very tight, white nurse costume and, yes, he even has a big white hat with a red cross on it* LET SCHU-HONEY NURSE HIS BRADDY-BEAR!!  
  
~*Fin*~ 


	2. Act One, Scene One

Weiss's Midsummer Night's Dream  
  
Act One, Scene One  
  
A/N: O___________o Heeeey, I'm ACTUALLY working on this! *dances and waves banners around* Ooh, wow, yaoi fans will KILL me for this, but.... MEH. *continues dancing*  
  
Disclaimer: I own not the Shakespeare or the Weiss Kreuz characters. I only own the twisted, horribly MAIMED version of A Midsummer Night's Dream that will be... this... fic x_o The original Midsummer Night's Dream is © William Shakespeare. He's dead. He lived a few hundred years ago. Therefore, I doubt he will sue me for using his storyline.  
  
People in this scene:  
  
Persia playing Theseus  
  
Manx playing Hippolyta  
  
Momoe playing Philostrate  
  
Yuriko and Kase as random attendants  
  
Masafumi Takatori playing Egeus  
  
Tot playing Hermia  
  
Nagi playing Lysander  
  
Omi playing Demetrius  
  
Ouka playing Helena  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~  
  
[Scene: Athens. Persia's palace]  
  
[Enter: Persia, Manx, Momoe, Yuriko, Kase]  
  
Persia: Heeeeeeeeey, guess what, Manx? In four days we're gonna be married! *dances*  
  
Manx: x_x Only four days? Dear God...  
  
Persia: ^_^ Go and tell everybody about this, okay, Momoe? I want the whole kingdom to know!  
  
Momoe: =^-^=  
  
[Exit Momoe]  
  
Persia: Manx, admit it; you love me 'cause I'm sooooo hot! *poses like the Great Saiyaman*  
  
Manx: .... -__________________________-'  
  
Persia: However, even though I'm SO TOTALLY HOT, I will marry you for love! And because if you don't marry me, you'll be fired.  
  
Manx: .... x_x  
  
[Enter: Masafumi, Tot, Nagi, and Omi]  
  
Masafumi: Look, we'll go talk to the Duke, and---oh sweet Lord! They let HIM be in charge of ATHENS... ? *stares at Persia*  
  
Persia: *high on the fact that he's getting married* Well well, if it isn't my favorite nephew! WAZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP?!?!?!?  
  
Masafumi: No, no, that's all wrong! It goes like this... *takes a deep breath* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPP?!?!?!?!  
  
Persia: WAAAAAZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPP?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Masafumi: WAAAAAAAAAAAAZZUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPP?!  
  
Nagi: What're you ON, man.... ?  
  
Manx: Don't ask.  
  
Nagi: I won't.  
  
Masafumi: I have a problem...  
  
Omi: THAT was an understatement.  
  
Persia: _ Be quiet, knave, and let the good man speak!  
  
Masafumi: *sticks his tongue out at Omi* NYEEEH! Anyway, uh, I want my 'daughter' *points at Tot* to marry him *points at Omi*. But she *points at Tot* loves HIM *points at Nagi* and HE *points at Omi* doesn't like him *points at Nagi*. And she *points at Tot* gave him *points at Nagi* a bracelet, but I *points at himself* don't want him *points at Nagi* anywhere NEAR my daughter *points at Tot*. I want her *still pointing at Tot* to marry him *points at Omi*, but she *points at Tot* refuses. Ya got that?  
  
Persia: *scratches chin* I think so.... basically, she's just commiting INSUBORDINATION! *points accusing finger at Tot* Didn't your Papa tell you who you were gonna marry? If he says your marryin' the blonde guy, you're marryin' the blonde guy!  
  
Tot: Tot hates Bombay! Her love Nagi!  
  
Persia: Eh? Well.... um... you still hafta listen to your Papa! Got it?  
  
Tot: NO! *sticks tongue out*  
  
Persia: WHAAAAAAT?!?! YOU DARE TO DEFY MY AUTHORITAY?!?! *magically grows to be thirty feet tall and bright red with little devil horns and all sorts of hell fire behind him* I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS!!! YOU SHALL MARRY THE BLONDIE OR DIIIIIEEEEEE!!!  
  
Tot: But Tot loves Nagi!  
  
Persia: AND I LOVE SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR! BUT I DON'T GET TO MARRY HER, SO DEAL WITH IT! *bows before his Sarah Michelle Gellar shrine, made out of bottlecaps and dandelions*  
  
All: --;;  
  
Persia: *coughs and shrinks back to normal* Er, well... you still have to marry Omi. Sorry, kid. Marry him or die.  
  
Nagi: *twitches* KISAMAAAAAAAA!!! TOUCH MY TOTO-CHAN AND DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
Persia: O.O! *hides behind Manx* Save meeeeeeeee.... you're an amazon, save me already!  
  
Manx: *pushes Persia away* Hm, lemme think about it......no.  
  
Persia: v_v  
  
Manx: _  
  
Persia: *whimpers*  
  
Tot: Tot loves only Nagi! She will never marry ugly old Bombay!  
  
Omi: Heeeeeeey....  
  
Persia: SHUDDUP! *growls* Listen, Tot.... may I call you Tot? Anyways, Tot, you have to marry Omi or you will die. And then Nagi will be all alone. Forever. Until he marries someone else.  
  
Tot: N-n-n-o! You lieeeeee! Waaaaaaaaah! *starts to cry*  
  
Omi: But Tot! I love you, too! *smile genkily*  
  
Nagi: ___! *uses his powers to throw Omi through a brick wall* MINE! *grabs Tot and hugs her* ^o^  
  
Tot: ^o^  
  
Omi: x_o  
  
Masafumi: Seeeeee?!?! She won't marry him! I'm gonna be ruined! *starts crying profusely* Waaaaaaaah, my plaaaaaaaaaaaans!  
  
Nagi: Why can't *I* marry Toto-chan? I love her an' all...  
  
Masafumi: .......no. I don't like you.  
  
Nagi: Why not?!  
  
Masafumi: *shrugs* I dunno. I just... don't. So NO! You canNOT marry my daughter! Ever! *jumps up and down angrily* NEVER EVER EVER!!!  
  
Persia: *coughs*  
  
Masafumi: *stops jumping* *begins whistling Dixie*  
  
Persia: ..... Say goodbye to each other while we all conveniently leave at the same time and give you enough time to think up plans for eloping.  
  
Nagi: *a little light bulb appears over his head, probably beause he's using telekinesis to float it there, and since I feel like it, the light bulb lights up* Okaaaaaaaay... ^o^  
  
Masafumi: *still crying* Waaaaaaaaaaaah...  
  
Manx: *slaps him* Grow up, you retarded FREAK.  
  
Masafumi; *whimpers in fear* *salutes* Yes ma'am.  
  
[Exit all except Nagi and Tot]  
  
Nagi: *looks at Tot* Hi.  
  
Tot: *looks at Nagi* Hi.  
  
Nagi: ...  
  
Tot: ...  
  
Nagi: .......wanna elope?  
  
Tot: Okay!  
  
Nagi: ^_______________________________^  
  
Tot: ^_____________________________^  
  
Nagi: I love you.  
  
Tot: Tot loves Nagi too! *pauses* *blinks owlishly* Does this mean Nagi and Tot will live together?  
  
Nagi: Uh..... suuuuuuuuure... but only if we sneak out of Athens and elope against your 'Papa''s wishes.  
  
Tot: Okay! ^_^  
  
Nagi: -______________________- That doesn't bother you?  
  
Tot: *blinks* Tot loves her Papa, but she loves Nagi more!  
  
Nagi: *eyes turn into hearts* Really?  
  
Tot: ^_^! *nods happily*  
  
Both: *start dancing together merrily*  
  
Nagi: Uh-oh.... here comes the bitch... uh, I mean... here comes Ouka... the bitch.  
  
[Enter Ouka]  
  
Tot: HIIIII! *waves*  
  
Ouka: *shakes her fist angrily* Spill it! WHERE'S MY OMI-SAN?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Tot: *shrugs* Him left.  
  
Ouka: *stops yelling* Really?  
  
Tot + Nagi: *nod*  
  
Ouka: Oh... okay. So... what're you guys doin'?  
  
Tot: Tot and Nagi are going to elope!  
  
Ouka: *raises eyebrow* Really...  
  
Tot: Uh-huh! =D  
  
Ouka: What about Omi? Won't he be sad about that?  
  
Nagi: Probably. But I really don't care.  
  
Ouka: *magically grows to be thirty feet tall with the devil horns, and the redness, and the hell fires and all that stuff* WHAAAAAAAAAAADDID YOU SAY?!?! EVERYONE SHOULD CARE ABOUT *MY* OOOOOMMIIIIIII!!!!  
  
Nagi + Tot: *cower in fear*  
  
Ouka: *shrinks back to normal* *coughs* Sorry 'bout that.  
  
Nagi: *shrugs* Meh. S'ok. I gotta leave anyway.  
  
Tot: Tot has to leave too! Buh-bye! *blows Nagi a kiss and waves to Ouka*  
  
[Exit Tot]  
  
Nagi: *eyes turn into hearts... again* All miiiiiiiine.... all for meeeeeeeeeeee.... *floats himself off after Tot*  
  
[Exit Nagi]  
  
Ouka: *runs into center stage* MWAHAHA!!! OMI SHALL BE MIIIIIIIINE! Once I tell him that those two're eloping, he'll have NO CHOICE but to fall in love with MEEEEEEEE! *cackles madly* *runs around in circles* MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
[Exit Ouka]  
  
~Fin~  
  
A/N: *coughs* Well, THAT was full of randomness! What will happen in scene two? Will it be as funny as this scene? Was THIS scene funny? Will I ever get to slash Crawford and Schu or is that not meant to be in this fic? WILL I EVER STOP ASKING MYSELF QUESTIONS?!?!?!  
  
The answers to those questions are all follows: Stuff, hopefully, I think so, probably, and no.  
  
Special thanks to Yoko-chan for caring and actually reviewing ^^ Because she was so nice to me, she gets to appear later. Ever'body go ooh and aww. NOW! I COMMAND IT! *glares* *runs off*  
  
---Gangsta Videl 


	3. Act One, Scene Two

Act One, Scene Two  
  
A/N: Act one, scene two! All forgive me and my lack of reasoning! Um... I call Aya 'Ran' since thew thing with him and the real Aya is so cunfuzzling to read @_@ Plus, have you ever tried writing 'Aya this, Aya- chan that, Aya, Aya-chan... ' it gets boring. And hard. So HA.  
  
Disclaimer: O_o I do not own.... anything. Except for my socks ^o^ OOH! And I bought Shining Cross! *huggles it* *Farfieeeeeee.... Farfieeeeee... *drool*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
People in this scene:  
  
Michiru playing Quince  
  
Reiji Takatori playing Snug  
  
Ran (Aya) playing Bottom  
  
Aya-chan playing Flute  
  
Ken playing Snout  
  
Schoen playing Starveling  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~  
  
[Scene: Michiru's house.]  
  
Michiru: Is everyone here?  
  
Ran: *foaming at the mouth* Takatoriiiiiiiiiiiii..... TAKATORIIIIIIIIIIIIIII....  
  
Michiru: x_x  
  
Reiji: ^^ I'm a good little boy.  
  
Michiru: Of course you are.  
  
Ran: *foaming* SHI-NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....  
  
Michiru: *coughs* Uh, well... let's get started. As you know, we are the ones responsible for the entertainment at Manx and Persia's wedding. So, when I call your name, just say 'here' and I'll tell you what part you have in our play. Got it?  
  
All: *salute* MA'AM YES MA'AM.  
  
Michiru: --;; Freaks. Uh... *looks down at a sheet of paper* Do I have a Ran Fujimiya?  
  
Ran: *stops foaming* Here. *begins foaming again* Takatoriiiiiiiiiiiii....  
  
Michiru: o_x You're playing the hero, Pyramus. He kills himself for the love of his love.  
  
Ran: *too obsessed with yelling 'SHI-NE' every four seconds to care*  
  
Michiru: Righty-o... Is there an Aya Fujimiya?  
  
Ran + Aya-chan: *in unison* Here.  
  
Michiru: --; *whacks Ran* Not you, you freak, your sister.  
  
Ran: _  
  
Aya-chan: Please don't hurt Ran-kun!  
  
Michiru: Fine. Anyway, Aya-chan, you're supposed to play... *looks at her paper* Thisby.  
  
Aya-chan: ^___^ Um... wait a minute. Michiru?  
  
Michiru: Yes?  
  
Aya-chan: Who's Thisby?  
  
Michiru: ..... you don't want to know.  
  
Aya-chan: Yes I do.  
  
Michiru: ....no, you don't.  
  
Aya-chan: YES, I DO.  
  
Michiru: *jumps up and down maniacly* THISBY IS PYRAMUS' LOVER, HAPPY?!?!?!  
  
All: O___________O  
  
Ran: *stares in shock and horror*  
  
Reiji: *jaw drop*  
  
Ken: *falls over*  
  
Schoen: Oh dear God...  
  
Aya-chan: *gapes* *faints*  
  
Ran: AYA-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! *dives over a couch* *catches his sister* *begins crying* NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Michiru: x_x Lighten up, dude. She'll be awake in five... four... three... two...  
  
Reiji: *pokes Aya-chan*  
  
Ran: *bites his finger*  
  
Reiji: ! *whimper*  
  
Michiru: ........one.  
  
Aya-chan: *opens her eyes and sits up* Huh... ? Oh! Big brother! Thank you for catching me ^^  
  
Ran: ^^  
  
Michiru: Can we continue.... ? THANK YOU! Uh... *looks at her paper* Schoen, no last name?  
  
Schoen: Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's me! *bright and happy look* *sees Ken* *hisses*  
  
Ken: v_v  
  
Michiru: Roight... anyway, you play Thisby's mother.  
  
Schoen: Cool. I can live with that. Provided HE *glares at Ken* isn't her DAD or something.  
  
Michiru: Nope.  
  
Schoen: Good. *sits down and sticks her tongue out at Ken*  
  
Michiru: Okay then.... next up is Ken Hidaka! Ken... I know Ken's here, he was getting yelled at. Ken?  
  
Ken: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeees?  
  
Michiru: You're going to play Pyramus's father.  
  
Ken: I'm Aya's dad? SWEET! *does a victory dance*  
  
Michiru: --;; For some unknown reason, I shall play Thisby's pater. *looks down at her paper* Uh... Reiji Takatori?  
  
Reiji: ^^ I'm a good little boy!  
  
Michiru: You will play a lion. An honest to God LION.  
  
Reiji: *grabs a copy of The Lion King* A lion... ? Like Simba? *eyes turn into stars*  
  
Michiru: Yeah, sure, why not? A lion just like Simba.  
  
Reiji: ^___^!! Do I have any big lines?  
  
Michiru: You're a lion. All you do is ROAR.  
  
Ran: *unsheathes katana* If he scares Aya-chan with his roar, I'm gonna---  
  
Michiru: *interrupts* HOPEFULLY the crowd likes his roaring and doesn't get scared by it! Because if they're scared...  
  
All: *in unison* THEN THEY'LL KILL US AAAAAAAALLLLLL!!!  
  
Ran: *sheathes katana* I'm Pyramus, right?  
  
Michiru: *nods*  
  
Ran: *nods* Okay then.  
  
Schoen: That was it?  
  
Ran: Yep.  
  
Michiru: Wow... so, um... let's all meet up later in the big forest that fairies supposedly live in and rehearse. Okay-day?  
  
All others: All right.  
  
Reiji: ^________________^ I'M STILL A GOOD LITTLE BOY! :D :D :D  
  
[Exeunt]  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: Well? Whaddaya think? I know, made all the dead characters alive, but, hell with it. And, for the dear grace of God, I never said I was AGAINST yaoi! Sheeeesh! All righty, let's do F.A.Q.'s!  
  
F.A.Q:  
  
Q. Why are you against yaoi?  
  
A. I'm not x_x My reviewers take things waaay too literally. They somehow thought I was all, anti-yaoi-like. Guess they missed the part with Brad and Schu in the first chapter -.-  
  
Anywaysums... YES. Brad and Schu will forever be the ONLY Weiss Kreuz couple I adore and make shrines for -.- And fics. Holy monkey cheese, I make quite a bit of BradxSchu fics XD So yeah, yaoi is okay. But not, like, BradxNagi. That's narsty.  
  
Q. Why do you hate Ouka so much?  
  
A. .... I don't. I never said I did. I do, however, hate a certain freakish dart-flining member of Weiss... which may in turn cause me to make fun of Ouka a bit. But she was okay. 'Cept for the incest thing -.-  
  
Q. Why do you fear your reviewers?  
  
A. O_O You mean you don't fear the yaoi-loving fangirls? I sure do! And I know some of them won't be happy about how I make their favorite couples het or something. And someone was raggin' on me once about Farfarello. Farfarello is not gay, dammit. I will never read a fic in which Farfiekins is made out to be gay. Because he's not. *nods*  
  
As if you couldn't tell... Ickle Farfiekins is my favorite character. I've seen episode 18... fourteen times now. For you idiots, that's Schuld: Farfarello. Farfie's episode! ^o^  
  
Um... that's all the F.A.Q.'s. For now. I know more will come, and I am ready! *shows off her new, anti-flamer shield, made by Crawford Insurance ©*  
  
Keep reviewing!  
  
---Gangsta Videl  
  
((And yes, I do believe in the the love that is NagixTot! *waves Nagi-Tot banners* ^o^! )) 


	4. Act Two, Scene One

Act Two, Scene One  
  
A/N: I was having sooooo much fun writing this, like you have NO idea.  
  
Schu: No, literally, they have NO IDEA.  
  
Brad: ... in English, that means he read their minds.  
  
Gangsta Videl: Hmmm... it seems as though my Weiß Kreuz minions finally found out I had a story up...  
  
Brad: And we wouldn't've, if you hadn't thought about it.  
  
Gangsta Videl: Why is that so confuzzling?  
  
Schu: I know THAT ONE... ^_~  
  
Gangsta Videl: It all makes sense now... you, knowledge, the fact that you can read minds.... YOU LOVE BRAD, DON'T YOU?! *points*  
  
Schu: O.O  
  
Brad: O.O  
  
Random reviewers: YAAAAAAAAAY!!! YAOI! YAOI! YAOI! *cheer and throw random yaoi parties*  
  
Gangsta Videl: *shakes her head sadly*  
  
Schu: How... how did you find out... ?  
  
Brad: O_o Wait, you mean she wasn't just guessing wildly? Then that means....*suddenly puts two and two together* *gets four* O_O! *faints*  
  
Schu: NOOOOOOOOO!! BRADDIE!!!!! *dives and catches him as the theme from The Bodyguard starts playing in the background*  
  
Gangsta Videl: *starts singing* And I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I will a-a-always lo- o-o-ove you-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u!  
  
Schu: ~_~ You're not helping.  
  
Gangsta Videl: Maybe if you put on a tight little dress again, he'll wake up.  
  
Schu: You think so?  
  
Gansgta Videl: That or die of massive blood-loss through the nose.  
  
Schu: ....  
  
Gangsta Videl: WHAT?!?! It's the truth, dammit. Now... *walks over and pokes Brad* WAKEY WAKEYYYYYYYYYYY!!!  
  
Brad: !! *jumps up* I'M AWAKE!! I'M AWAKE!  
  
Gansgta Videl: Good. And now that you're awake, GO CHANGE INTO YOUR MINION- ESQUE UNIFORMS AND MEET ME IN THE ENDING AUTHOR'S NOTES!  
  
Brad + Schu: *gulp in fear* *salute* Ma'am, yes, ma'am! *run off to change*  
  
Gangsta Videl: *happy sigh* Ah, it's SO fun to be ME at times....  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, dammit. Except for Brad and Schu's minion costumes, but all my minions have to wear them except for Chibi Goku and Ranma, because, well, Goku's too young and Ranma has that cold water thing. That had nothing to do with this story but OH WELL! A Midsummer Night's Dream is © William Shakespeare, the DEAD. If he tries to sue me for using it, damn, I want to know how he came back to life first! So THERE!  
  
The cast for this chapter is as follows:  
  
Botan playing Puck  
  
Sakura playing Fairy  
  
Yoji as Oberon  
  
Neu as Titania  
  
Omi playing Demetrius  
  
Ouka playing Helena  
  
Kase and Maki as members of Oberon's train  
  
Yoko-chan and Yuriko as members of Titania's train  
  
Mr. Rabbi as the boy (He has no lines... he's only mentioned, and I was running out of cast members ^^;;)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
[Scene: A wood near Athens.]  
  
[Enter, from opposite sides, Sakura and Botan]  
  
Botan: Hello there! *wave*  
  
Sakura: ....I serve the fairy king and queen. The queen is coming soon, so, uh, I gotta go.  
  
Botan: But you just got here! Besides, the king's coming later... plus, the queen's mad that the king stole the kid she stole from that Indian guy.  
  
Sakura: I knew she was a thief...  
  
Botan: What was that?  
  
Sakura: O_o NOTHING! *whistles innocently*  
  
Botan: Oh, okay. *starts humming and folding paper airplanes* *stops and looks around* Heeeeeeeeeey, lookie there! It's King Yojiron!  
  
Sakura: King Yojiron... ?  
  
Botan: *nods* Yeah. Yojiron. But people call him 'Yoji'. But he's still coming over here.  
  
Sakura: Ooooh, okayyy.... hey, look! Queen Neu-ia's coming too!  
  
Botan: .... Neu-ia?  
  
Sakura: The authoress was too lazy to think up something more creative. And Queen Asuka didn't work well. But we all call her 'Neu'.  
  
Botan: *nods* I see...  
  
[Enter Yoji and his train from one side, and Neu and her train from the other]  
  
Yoji: *walking around very dignified-like* *stops* *stares at Neu* Asukaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....  
  
Neu: Ick! *hides* I told you before! You stole the kid I stole from that Indian guy, so now I'm not even going to PRETEND I'm your old dead girlfriend!  
  
Yoji: *starts to cry* But I'm the kiiiiiiiiiiiiing! You HAFTA be nice to the KING! *points to his shiny crown to prove that he is the king*  
  
Neu: NO! *sticks her tongue out* And anyway, I'M the QUEEN! *points at her own shiny crown to prove that she is the queen*  
  
Yoji: *frowns* Hmph! How'd you like it if I told Manx that you were in love with Persia?  
  
Neu: I'd have to kill you.  
  
Yoji: Well then, you have to stay with me or I'll tell Manx that you're trying to stop her from becoming the Duchess of Athens. And then she'll kick your ass. [Aside] Maybe I can even get them to mud wrestle over it... *laughs pervertedly*  
  
Neu: .......why should I?!?! The Indian guy's wife told me to raise her kid, but the dad didn't like me, so I took him and was tryin' to raise him! That's all, I *SWEAR*!  
  
Yoji: Of course. So... how long you gonna be in these woods, baby? *winks suggestively*  
  
Neu: *snorts* Chauvinist pig. I will stay until after Persia and Manx get hitched, then... who the hell knows what after that.  
  
Yoji: Oh, okay... hey! What's that thing you're hiding behind you?!  
  
Neu: O_o Nothing! *shoves Mr. Rabbi into her bag* *whistles Dixie*  
  
Yoji: IT'S THAT... THAT KID-TYPE-THING YOU STOLE FROM THE INDIAN GUY, ISN'T IT?!?!?!  
  
Neu: Maaaaaaaaaaaybe...  
  
Yoji: Give me the kid and you can go. *glowers threateningly* *suddenly remembers who he thinks Neu is* Asukaaaaaaaaaaa.... *drools*  
  
Neu: *takes the opportunity to run off with Mr. Rabbi*  
  
[Exit Neu, Mr. Rabbi, and Neu's train]  
  
Yoji: Damn! I lost her agaaaaaaaaaaaaaain! ASUKAAAAAAAAAA! *starts bawling*  
  
Botan: Oh, for the love of paper... *throws a paper airplane at Yoji*  
  
Yoji: *gets hit in the head by said paper airplane* OW, DAMMIT! *takes the plane out of his hair* *reads it* *looks around* Botan! Where are you, Botan?  
  
Botan: Over here.  
  
Yoji: Oh. So you are... *coughs* Well, uh, do you remember when we were out listening to that thar siren sing?  
  
Botan: No.  
  
Yoji: *glares*  
  
Botan: Er, I mean... YES.  
  
Yoji: Good. Now, I want you to go back there, and---  
  
Botan: Why?  
  
Yoji: SHUDDUP, I'm gettin' to that. Anyway, you need to go and get the special purple flower of loooooove for me. *cackles evilly*  
  
Botan: O_o All righty. I'll be back in ten.  
  
[Exit Botan]  
  
Yoji: *laughs maniacly* Once I have said flower of loooooove, I can use its juice to make a potion. And I can use that potion to make my dear sweet Asuuuuuuuka slash Neu-ia fall in love with whatever comes near her. Like... a deer, or a pig, or maybe even a monkey... MWAHAHA!! Oh, damn, someone's coming! *hides*  
  
[Enter Omi, with Ouka following him]  
  
Omi: For the last time, NO! I do NOT love you! I'm supposed to marry Tot, not YOU! You have a huge forehead, and nobody likes it! GO AWAAAAAAAAY!  
  
Ouka: DAMN YOUUUUUUUU!!! *tackleglompmaimharmscratchclawkiss*  
  
Omi: O______O  
  
Ouka: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *cries*  
  
Omi: WHY in the name of cheese do you LOVE me so much?!  
  
Ouka: *shrugs* Why do you do things in the name of cheese?  
  
Omi: -_-  
  
Ouka: I don't know why, I just do, okay?! Why don't YOU love ME?!  
  
Omi: OTHER than the fact that you have a giant forehead, whiny voice, and tend to stalk me twenty-four/seven?  
  
Ouka: _  
  
Omi: What, I was tellin' the truth. Plus, aren't you my sister?  
  
Ouka: ....  
  
Omi: That's what I thought.  
  
Ouka: But Omi-saaaaaaaaaan! I feel all sad and sickly when you're not around! Isn't that a sign of loooooooooove?  
  
Omi: Prob'ly. I wouldn't know. See, I DON'T LIKE YOU. And therefore, I do not care wether or not you die, or fall over, or if you turn into an elephant, or anything! The only way I'd ever love you is if by some strange coincidence the king of the fairies is hiding and watching us and uses the juice of a flower to MAKE me fall in love with you, so HA!  
  
Ouka: _ Oooh, you get me so upset at times! Know what? I hope there really is a mischiveous little fairy-type person coming with that flower to give to the king to make you fall in love with me so you can understand how much you're hurting me right now!  
  
Omi: Pbbt. Talk to the hand! *waves his hand in her face and walks off*  
  
[Exit Omi]  
  
Ouka: *gives him the finger as he leaves* Waaaaaaaah, my true love! *cries sadly*  
  
[Exit Ouka]  
  
Yoji: *comes out of hiding and laughs evilly, doing the Mr. Burns finger thing* Excellent... mwahahahaha....  
  
[Re-enter Botan]  
  
Yoji: Took you long enough! *glares* Didja find the flower? Didja? Didjadidjadidja?!  
  
Botan: Yup! *puts the flower in a paper airplane and flies it over to Yoji* =D  
  
Yoji: WOOHOO! GIMMEGIMMEGIMME! *jumps up and catches the plane in midair, then hugs the flower to himself* When Asuka/Neu-ia goes to sleep tonight, I'll use this flower's juice to put her under a spell! Then, the next thing she sees when she wakes up--a.k.a., MOI---she will IMMEDIATELY fall in love with him! *swoons* I hope all you people appreciate my brilliance...  
  
Botan: *reassures* I'm sure they do.  
  
Yoji: ^^ OOH! Wait, I almost forgot!  
  
Botan: Yeah, what is it?  
  
Yoji: See, there's this cute little Athenian chick out here in the woods, and...  
  
Botan: NO, I will NOT ask her out for you.  
  
Yoji: *pouts* I AM married, ya know...  
  
Botan: ... really?  
  
Yoji: No. Not really. I can't back that one up. Sorry.  
  
Botan: Oh.  
  
Yoji: Anyway, she's in love with this blonde kid, about yay tall? Yeah, I need you to go put some juice on his eyes so he can love her as much as she loves him. *cackles evilly*  
  
Botan: ~_~ You're a weird one, King Yojiron, but I shall do as ye please.  
  
[Exeunt]  
  
~Fin~  
  
A/N: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Wasn't that fun? Hey, that reminds me.... MINIOOOOOOOOOOOOOONS!  
  
Brad + Schu: [from another room] *grunting noises*  
  
Yaoi fans: *eyes turn into hearts*  
  
Gangsta Videl: .... memo to self; keep scantily-clad minions away from each other....  
  
Schu: [from within] Brad, there's no way it's gonna fit in the hole!  
  
Brad: [from within] I'll make it fit, dammit! I will get in here if it's the last thing I do!  
  
All yaoi fans: *eyes turn into hearts*  
  
Gangsta Videl: .... Somebody get a fire hose, will ya?  
  
Schu: [from within] No, Brad! It's too big! It won't fit! You can't do it! *moans* The hole is waaaaaay too small for you to do *that*!  
  
Brad: [also from within] Dammit, Schu, don't tell me that it's too big! I got it in there before, didn't I? I can do it again! *more grunts and moaning*  
  
Schu: [within] *whimpers* Braaaaaaaaad! You'll never get it in, and---*cut off as he starts moaning and grunting again*  
  
Brad: [within] Almost... got it... all the way... inside... HA! *yells triumphantly* YESSS!! I KNEW I COULD DO IT!!  
  
All Yaoi fans: *start vibrating* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI....  
  
Gangsta Videl: ~_~ *grabs Ye Olde Fire Hose* Ever'body stand back!  
  
Arisusa: *runs in* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI!! BRADXSCHU! BRADXSCHU! *dances*  
  
Gangsta Videl: And that, ladies and germs, was my sister. And this is me. Breaking down the door. With a spoon. *grabs a spoon and miraculously uses it to smash through the door*  
  
All: O.O WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIII!!!!  
  
Schu: Ooof! *grunts* Braaaaaaad! I thought you said it was in all the way!  
  
Brad: I guess your hole's smaller than I originally thought...  
  
Gangsta Videl: O_o Oh for the love of.... SOMEBODY GET ME A CAMERA!  
  
Brad + Schu: *inside the room in their minion uniforms {aka, tight black leather}, trying to piece together Gundam Wing action figures. Brad is currently trying to smush his Heavy Arms figurine's arm into the arm socket of Schuldig's Sandrock figurine*  
  
Schu: Braaaaaaad! It's too big, dammit! The hole's WAY too small!  
  
Brad: I CAN DO THIS! *smashsmushcrushfit* SUCCESS!! IT FITS! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Yaoi fan girls: ....that was disappointing.  
  
Arisusa: VERY.  
  
Gangsta Videl: ....*coughs* Well... think of it this way. Schu loves Brad, and now both of them are wearing leather.  
  
BradxSchu fans: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAIII!! *victory dance*  
  
Brad + Schu: *suddenly notice that there are hordes of fangirls watching them* O.O YEEK! *hide*  
  
Gangsta Videl: *cackles* As always, leave your name, phone number, and review as you leave. Thank you!  
  
Mechanic voice: The authoress is not responsible for any loss of sanity, brain cells, or blood due to the reading of this fic. Thank you. And review on your way out, dammit.  
  
---Gangsta Videl + Co. 


	5. Act Three, Scene One NEW!

Act Three, Scene One  
  
A/N: ^o^ Ha ha ha, hee hee hee, little brown jug how I love thee... ! XD I'll  
  
probably die for this chapter, really. If anyone out there can remember the play,  
  
they'll know why. And all the Nagi/Tot fans will, well... let's just say I'm glad I  
  
still have that bombshelter o_O   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not even the little brown jug that I love... v_v   
  
The cast for this chapter is as follows:  
  
Michiru playing Quince  
  
Reiji Takatori as Snug  
  
Ran Fujimiya playing Bottom  
  
Aya-chan Fujimiya playing Flute  
  
Ken Hidaka as Snout  
  
Schoen playing Starveling  
  
Botan playing Puck  
  
Neu playing Titania  
  
Schuldig as Peaseblossom  
  
Brad Crawford playing Cobweb  
  
Farfarello as Mustardseed  
  
Birman playing Moth  
  
O_o So many people.... x_x   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
[Scene: The wood, with Neu sleeping nearby.]  
  
[Enter Michiru, Reiji, Ran, Aya-chan, Ken, and Schoen]  
  
Ran: .... Is everyone here?  
  
Michiru: I hope to God that everyone is... HEY! ANYBODY MISSING?!  
  
*crickets chirp*  
  
Michiru: --;; Damn crickets...   
  
Ran: Hey, Michiru---  
  
Michiru: *head suddenly becomes fifty times its normal size, and she gets fangs...  
  
basically, the classic anime-big-headed-fanged-thing* WHAAAAT?!  
  
All sans Ran: o.o *hide behind Ran*  
  
Ran: *coughs*   
  
Michiru: ... ? *blinks* Eh, heh, heh, heh... *head pops back to normal*  
  
*sweatdrops* Yes'ums?  
  
Reiji: *_*  
  
Ran: --;; Shi-ne...   
  
Michiru: *twitches* Aske ye olde questionne!  
  
Ran; What's say we write a proglogue that says that I'm not really incestuous?   
  
Better yet, let's put it down that I was FORCED to play the part of Pyramus, and  
  
that sweet little Aya-chan was FORCED to play Thisby!  
  
Michiru: -.- Nobody forced you guys to do this, yanno.  
  
Ran: Says you...   
  
Ken: o_O  
  
Schoen: ... okaaaaaay.... ?  
  
Michiru: ....   
  
Ran: ...   
  
Michiru: *stares*  
  
Ran: *stares back*  
  
Ken: *munches on popcorn and watches the staring contest*  
  
Michiru: *eye starts watering*  
  
Ran: .... *starestarestare*  
  
Michiru: *staretwitchwaterstarestarewatertwitch*  
  
Ran: *continues staring*  
  
Schoen: *steals Ken's popcorn*  
  
Ken: Heeeeeeee~ey! That's mine!  
  
Schoen: *eats* Mine now... *eateateat*  
  
Ken: ;_;  
  
Schoen: ]  
  
Michiru: o_ *falls over* GAH! All right, you win! We'll write you a freaking  
  
prologue!  
  
Ran: ^-^  
  
Aya-chan: What if the ladies in the audience are afraid of the Tacky Tory lion?  
  
Ran: *unsheathes sword* Then I'll KILL the lion...   
  
Reiji: O.O *hides behind Schoen*  
  
Ran: *evil grin*  
  
Reiji: ;_;  
  
Ken: ;_;  
  
Schoen: ... weirdos... *goes back to eating Ken's popcorn*   
  
Michiru: _ All right, we'll add another prologue that says he's just stupid old  
  
Reiji, okay?!  
  
Aya-chan: Couldn't he just introduce himself or something? Like say, "Be not  
  
afraid, for I am Reiji"?  
  
Michiru: Fine, fine, whatever... ~_~ I don't get paid enough for this...   
  
Schoen: You don't get paid period.  
  
Michiru: Oh yeah, rub it in ;_;  
  
Ken: *thinks* Hey, um... if the two Ayas meet in the moonlight... How are we  
  
supposed to get moonlight into the theatre?   
  
Michiru: We'll use a freaking open window and pray to Kami that the moon's out.  
  
Reiji: *whips out the Farmer's Almanac* Yep! It's gonna be a full moon that  
  
night! Oh no!  
  
Aya-chan: What's wrong? Rain?  
  
Ran: Flood?  
  
Michiru: Rabid beavers?  
  
All: o.O;;;   
  
Michiru: Er... nevermind... .;;;   
  
Reiji: It says here that locusts will eat my cheesey bread ;_;  
  
All: *anime fall/sweatdrop*  
  
Schoen: I think my IQ just dropped twenty points for having heard that...   
  
Ken: Mine, too.   
  
Reiji: Um... how are we going to bring in that wall? Cuz, yanno, the Ayas are  
  
supposed to talk through a hole in a wall.   
  
Michiru: Props department.  
  
Reiji: ....oh.  
  
Michiru: And if that fails, we'll just have somebody play the wall. So is  
  
everything settled?  
  
All: *nod*  
  
Michiru: All right then, let's start practicing! Aya-kun, I think you start.  
  
Ran: ...fine...   
  
[Enter Botan behind]  
  
Botan: Oh Gawd, THIS is gonna be hilarious... Those idiots couldn't act out a play  
  
if they were freaking Steven Spielberg! Now THIS I must see... and maybe help  
  
'em with. Like... be an extra or something o.O   
  
Michiru: Sometime today, Ran!  
  
Ran: ~_~ *monotone* Oh Thisby dear, the flowers smell so odiously sweet---  
  
Ken: Odorously.  
  
Ran: *raises eyebrow* That's not a real word.  
  
Schoen: Point?   
  
Ran: ....Shi-ne. *coughs* *monotone again* ---odorously sweet: Speak to me,  
  
my Thisby-chan dear. Harken---methinks I hear someone approaching. I shalt  
  
return. [Exeunt]  
  
Botan: *sweatdrops* If he's the guy they have playing Pyramus, then this play is  
  
screwed... [Exeunt]  
  
Aya-chan: *blinks* Where did oniichan go?  
  
Michiru: God only knows... Anyway, you oughta do your lines now. Since, ya  
  
know, you'll have to say them during the play.  
  
Aya-chan: A-All right... *coughs* *overdramatically* Oh Pyramus, darling! Thou  
  
art both snow white and rose red... o_O  
  
Michiru: *shrugs*  
  
Ken: Hee, hee, hee... rose red... *giggles*  
  
Schoen: *smacks him with her whip* Down, boy.  
  
Ken: *quiets down*  
  
Aya-chan: Roight... *clears throat* As true as the truest soul, I shalt meet thee at  
  
the ninny's tomb this night!  
  
Reiji: No, it's NINNY'S tomb.  
  
Aya-chan: Right---the ninny's tomb.  
  
Reiji: No, no, no---Ninny's.  
  
Aya-chan: Yep---The ninny's, I got it.  
  
Reiji: *gives up*  
  
Michiru: You're both wrong, it's "Ninus's tomb."   
  
Aya-chan: .... Oh.  
  
Michiru: *calls out* YO, RAN! YOU COME IN WHEN SHE SAYS "TRUEST  
  
SOUL," GOT IT?!?!  
  
*silence*  
  
Michiru: I'm taking that as a 'yes'... Please continue, Aya-chan.  
  
Aya-chan: Oh, okay---As true as the truest soul! I shalt meet thee at NINUS'S  
  
tomb this night!  
  
[Re-enter Botan, and Ran with a donkey's head]  
  
Ran: I wish I were thine, dear, dear Thisby...   
  
Schoen: *screams* *throws popcorn bucket at Ran* AAAAAAAARRRRRGH! I  
  
WAS HOPING THAT FORTUNE COOKIE WOULDN'T COME TRUE!!!   
  
''Beware the talking donkey" it said... Who knew it would be RIGHT?!?! *runs off  
  
screaming*  
  
Others: ... *scream and run off*  
  
[Exeunt Michiru, Reiji, Aya-chan, Ken, and Schoen]  
  
Botan: *falls over laughing* I enjoyed that waaaaaaaay too much... *wipes tears  
  
from eyes* *beeper goes off* Whoops... I was supposed to go meet the great  
  
king over in our secret meeting spot... Better get going... [Exit]  
  
Ran: ....SHI-NE! Stupid... why'd they all run away?  
  
[Re-enter Ken]  
  
Ken: Forgot my hat... (A/N: Shamelessly stolen from The Simpsons! XD...)  
  
Ran: KEN!  
  
Ken: o_O What the---Ran?! *stares* Wow, Ran, you've really let yourself go...   
  
Ran: -_- Shi-ne.  
  
Ken: ...or maybe you're still the same. Hee hee, you're a real ass now!  
  
Ran: _ SHI-NE! YOU'RE the ass, not ME!  
  
Ken: .... ;_;   
  
[Exeunt Ken]  
  
Ran: .... fool. *grabs Ken's hat and puts it on* XD  
  
[Re-enter Michiru]  
  
Michiru: *bows in front of Ran* I'm praying for your mortal soul, really I am...  
  
[Exit]  
  
Ran: ....wha-? Meh! *shrugs* Who needs 'em? Oh well... Now that they're gone, I  
  
can SING! SING! SIIIIIIIIIIIING! *laughs*  
  
*crickets chirp*  
  
Ran: -_- Shi-ne, crickets. *sings* The ousel cock so black of hue; With orange-  
  
tawny bill; The throstle with his note so true; The wren with little quill!  
  
Neu: *waking up* WHO THE *&@# IS SINGING OVER THERE?!?!?!  
  
Ran: ...Screw it, that song sucks. *sings* Doko nanoka wakaranai; Dare hitori  
  
mienai... !  
  
Neu: *grumbles* I'm surrounded, really... First King Cocky-pants, and now Mr.  
  
Singasong. Great. Juuuuuuust GREAT.  
  
Ran: *sings* Nani wo shite kita no ka; Kioku sae usurete... !  
  
Neu: *jumps up* YO! WHO'S SINGIN' IN MAH WOODS?!  
  
Ran: o.O That would be me, uh, ma'am.  
  
Neu: *sees him* *eyes turn into hearts* (A/N: ... AHH! CREEPY! *jumps off a  
  
bridge*) Now THAT'S a bishie!  
  
Ran: o.o;;;  
  
Neu: ^o^ You're as smart as you are handsome...   
  
Ran: Thanks... I think .  
  
Neu: For you, I have some presents! Or slaves, whatever you find least  
  
offensive... YO! SLAVES! GET IN HERE!!!  
  
[Enter Schuldig, Brad, Farfie, and Birman]  
  
Schuldig: Yo.  
  
Brad: Hn.  
  
Farfie: ]  
  
Birman: vv;;;   
  
All: *monotone* What do you want, O great fairy Queen Neu, who art even more  
  
beautiful than ex-model Schoen and the fair Athenian maids?  
  
Neu: ... Damn straight I am. Anyway, see this guy right here? *wraps arm around  
  
Ran*  
  
Ran: O.O!!!  
  
Neu: I want you to cater to his every freaking whim, got it?  
  
Brad: ... *to Schu* Is it just me, or is that guy a *literal example* of a jackass?  
  
Neu: *giant head w/ fangs + hellfire mode* WHAT DID YOU SAAAAY?!?!  
  
Brad: I *SAID*, 'Gee, what a lovely... um... grass skirt you have, Schuldig'.   
  
Schuldig: ^___^ I made it myself! *spins 'round and 'round*  
  
Farfie: Spinning 'round and 'round hurts Go---*cut off*  
  
Birman: *has hand over Farf's mouth* Say anything more, and I SWEAR, I will...  
  
KIIIIIIIIIILL YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! (A/N: Tenchi Muyo-ish... )  
  
Brad: .... *nods to Ran* Hn.  
  
Schuldig: Heil!   
  
Brad: o.o;;;   
  
Schuldig: What? We're supposed to hail him, right?  
  
Brad: Whatever you say, German ~_~  
  
Schuldig: HEIL!  
  
Brad: *half-arsed* Hail.  
  
Birman: Hail.  
  
Farfie: *bites Birman's hand*  
  
Birman: OW! *pulls her bleeding hand away*  
  
Farfie: *evil grin* Hail... *licks knife*  
  
Ran: o.o;;; Okay, officially afraid now... *pokes at Brad* You, what's your name.  
  
Brad: Brad Crawford.   
  
Ran: Nice name.  
  
Brad: I know.  
  
Ran: x_x'  
  
Brad: XD  
  
Ran: ... roight... what about the Neo-Nazi over there?  
  
Schuldig: _ I'M NOT A NEO-NAZI!!! And my name's Schuldig.  
  
Ran: Okay then. What about the chick?  
  
Birman: *slaps Ran across the face* THAT'S "MISS CHICK" TO YOU!!!  
  
All: o.O;;;   
  
Birman: Er... ^^;; My name's Birman...   
  
Ran: *big red hand print on his donkey-head* Uh... and the last guy?  
  
Farfie: Jei Farfarello. Call me 'Jei' and DIE ]  
  
Ran: Noted!  
  
Neu: HURT HIM AND DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!! *glomps onto Ran* ^______^   
  
Come now, my foolish fairy slaves! We must go forth and RUIN KING  
  
YOJIRON'S LIFE! *evil cackle*  
  
Servants: Joy...   
  
Ran: ;_; Help meeeeeeeeeeee.... !  
  
[Exeunt]  
  
~Fin~  
  
A/N: XD Man oh MAN am I glad to have saved this puppy on a disk! XD So  
  
happy... ^^; I have to upload on my cousin's computer, the oh-so-appropriately  
  
named "Speedy", though... Oh well. At least I'm updating... XD ONWARDS TO  
  
THE REVOO'ING!!!  
  
Gangsta Videl 


End file.
